My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
