Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
