Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
