Your mouth is God's brothel.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
