I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
