she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
