first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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