Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
