I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
