had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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