I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
