just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
