it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
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bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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