I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
