never play flip cup with pint glasses
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
