Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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