used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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