ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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