My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize