At least make sure they are 18
Why
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
