just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
