If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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