I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
