I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
