ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
