I want to make a zoo with you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
