We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am naked and annoyed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
