I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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