I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
