My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
