Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize