I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
