i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
