If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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