That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize