I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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