More tranny stories later!
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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