And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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