i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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