He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
