Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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