I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
