I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
