well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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