WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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