I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
