Is it because I queefed?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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