I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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