So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
