Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
that is very illegal...i love you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
