You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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