Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
