can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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