i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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