so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
