dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize