for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
